The short answer to the question posed in the subject of this article is, “Yes, porn is probably making you bad in bed.”
If you’re not sure, you can take my “Porn Self Assessment Test” here >>
For almost 15 years now I’ve been thinking that the sex apocalypse is coming. And it seems like I’m not the only one who has noticed.
A lot of folks are now waking up to what’s going on, and it’s becoming more common knowledge that porn is causing erectile dysfunction (and all kinds of other sexual dysfunction) in men. It’s also causing social anxiety, sexual passivity, social confusion, and teaching men how to be bad in bed… but more on that later.
The movie “Don Jon”, written, directed, and starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt was the first time that porn addiction made it into popular culture, and I think it was an important and positive development that, if nothing else, brought the conversation more into the mainstream, but the fact is, the movie soft-balled a much more serious problem.
In the movie, Jon, a handsome lady’s-man, alpha-male admits that he likes porn better than sex with real women. After sex, he always sneaks off after the girl has fallen asleep and has another quickie with his laptop.
I started noticing something going on with young men and porn around 2007, when I first sent a newsletter about women who can’t have orgasms during sex… and to my surprise I got back a tsunami of emails from MALE readers asking if I could write a newsletter for MEN who couldn’t have orgasms during sex.
Just so you understand where I was coming from at the time… I had never even HEARD of men who couldn’t have orgasms during intercourse. It was virtually unheard of in my generation. Sure, of course, men who couldn’t get erections for sex: I had been talking to them for years. And, sure, men who came too quickly during sex: I created an entire program for them.
But men who had trouble, or even found it impossible to have orgasms with real women was something new to me, but it wasn’t going to stay new. 3 of my 20-something friends called me up in the following week to ask the same thing.
One of them said he had trouble ejaculating with real women, and 2 said they always had to “finish themselves off” afterwards. One of them also told me that in 6 years of sexual activity with many partners and 3 long term girlfriends, he had NEVER had intercourse without Viagra.
I recommended a list of things for these guys to try. Everything I could think of. One of them was, “maybe you should quit porn.”
Now, years later, the evidence is in and it’s clear: Porn is re-wiring men’s brains to be bad in bed.
For the record, I enjoy porn as much as the next guy… Which is to say, I find it absolutely irresistible.
As the comedian said: “If you’ve seen one naked woman, you wanna see ’em all.”
I have also talked to men that don’t like porn and don’t watch it. They do exist. But I’m not one of them, and the majority of men simply love looking at lots and lots of naked chicks involved in lots and lots of different sexual acts. This, of course, turns out to be genetically wired into us.
I don’t have exact numbers, but it appears that the majority of men who have consumed high-speed-internet porn are like me: They find porn to be highly enjoyable, highly stress-relieving, highly escapist… and highly addictive.
Because high-speed internet porn didn’t arrive in my life until my late 30s, I was able to notice and track the changes it was making in my life.
I was in a relationship with a beautiful woman, but I would still regularly “binge” on porn, not only at the expense of my sex-drive for my partner, but also at the expense of my work and social engagements.
Perhaps I had more attention on noticing what was happening because of what I do for a living: I was already writing a sex advice newsletter… So I started examining what was going on, and I quit. (And, to be clear on how difficult that is, I quit more than once!)
For men who don’t notice what’s happening, or for men who are young enough to have grown up on ‘net porn, their entire reality and their future ability to forge sexual relationships with women can be stolen without them ever realizing it happened.
[If you’re not sure if you have a “problem” with porn, I strongly recommend you take a minute to take the “Porn Self Assessment Test” here >>]
Like most men who are hooked on porn, when Don Jon starts dating his “perfect 10” woman, he still can’t stop watching his porn. The movie chose to ignore the most common facts though: Don Jon has no problems getting hard, he has no problem ejaculating, and the women he is with are sexually impressed with his performance.
That’s not even close to the way it generally goes in the real world.
Right now there is excellent information out there raising awareness for men about how porn is causing ED (they can’t get hard or stay hard), and excellent information on how to quit porn and regain your libido, and re-wire your brain back to its normal state.
The most important thought leader in this area is Gary Wilson.
If you’re even a little bit interested in the science, the proof, and the results of what’s going on with men (especially young men) and porn, you will absolutely want to watch Gary’s TED talk:
There is an entirely other problem with young men, women, and couples that is also coming from porn… and that’s the massive dis-education about how good sex is done.
Young people learn everything they know about sex from porn with sad results.
As Cindy Gallop said in her 2009 TED talk, “Hardcore porn has become the de facto sex education.”
She talks about her experiences with younger lovers who had been badly educated by porn here:
Unfortunately, while she offers an alternative on her “Make Love, Not Porn” site, I think that in the end, while adding intelligence and a different idea for visual sex, she is actually doing nothing more than contributing to the library of home-made porn, which is it’s own “amateur” sub-genre, and frankly, her site is more part of the problem than part of the solution.
In other words, I have some fear that she’s created a site that gives men and women “social permission” to just watch more porn.
The fact is, porn is exquisitely well crafted for VISUAL stimulation. Unfortunately, that does not equate with what actually works for making each other FEEL great.
While masturbating to porn is a visual activity, only a small part of real sex is visual. The other 4 senses are intimately involved, chief among them being touch, not site.
And all 5 senses combined don’t make up even half of what fuels GREAT SEX…
Which is the emotional and mental aspects of love making, which are rehearsed out of men when they masturbate exclusively with the use of porn.
I talked about this in one of my weekly videos, “The Truth About Masturbation”.
This conversation is really just beginning however.
We don’t know the full extent of the damage, or how much worse it might get.
As I write this I have at least 4 colleagues selling programs with porn stars teaching how to have better sex… based on the marketing premise that young people believe that porn stars would be experts on the subject of good sex… A very scary thought…
But it is damn good marketing, and they are making millions of dollars while men continue to get the wrong information about how to really have a great sex life and great sexual relationships with women.
Is porn the devil?
Nope, I’m sure it’s not.
Should it be censored?
I’m against censorship in general. But I do agree with anti-hate speech laws, and I think we just don’t understand this problem well enough yet to have a ready answer. Like guns, I think pornography ought to at least be better controlled… and hopefully in a way that does not present an invasion of privacy for those adults that decide they want to continue to consume porn.
Can some men watch porn without it having a negative impact on their lives?
Probably. There are people who frequently take cocaine recreationally without it affecting their lives too. Though it does seem clear that, even though it is less physically dangerous, porn probably has a much higher addiction potential than coke, and it ought to at least be treated with caution by any man.
Don Jon talks about a bunch of reasons for why he prefers porn to real women. He sums it up by saying that he can just “lose himself” with porn.
What he never mentions, which I think is far more in line with the truth for most men, is how EASY it is. How relaxing and calming it is to just let yourself be sexually stimulated without having to worry about judgement. Your computer never judges you for your kinks and proclivities. Your computer never rejects you.
There’s probably something important to learn there for lovers wanting to take Julianne Moore’s character’s advice in the movie, when she tells Don Jon that the best sex is when you “lose yourself in another person, and they lose themselves in you.”
The only way THAT KIND OF SEX happens is when you really feel free to be yourself. And that takes something special from your partner.
And, by the way, using this article to judge your partner or make them wrong for their porn use is probably going to have the opposite effect in that regard. We are all imperfect humans doing our best to live the best life we can. Put the judgements of your partner (and yourself) aside.
If you start from there, then it’s easy to have a more loving conversation about it.
.
To take the “Porn Addiction Self Assessment Test” Go Here >>
Fantastic article, Alex. I’ll definitely link to this one for my married guys highly addicted to porn.
This line, ‘sex is when you “lose yourself in another person, and they lose themselves in you.”’ is great.
The emotional safety (free to be yourself) required here has been gone for a long time in many marriages.
Love remains…but desire has disappeared.
Thanks. Great stuff.
Being a bit older with a couple of marriages under my belt and a professional that converses with adult males quite frequently about relationships I have found that the biggest cause of ED is the women themselves, the “wives”. It doesn’t matter how much money you have, the house in the country, vacations at the beach, or the ability to “stack” their organsms. After a few years the women apparently just get bored. Can’t seem to handle the good side of life that a successful, well rounded alpha male can privide.
Seems like a challenge to them to prove no matter how good you are and how well you treat them you can’t have everything you want, which, of course, includes them. Myself and four of my best friends went through this when in our 50’s. Made all of us crash pretty hard too. (Another good friend is going through it right now and he waited 5 years just to make sure she was the “right one”. Within a year it was SOS the rest of us have been through).
None of the girls were having an affair, there wasn’t some other male waiting in the wings. The kids were all grown up and doing well on their own. Plenty of money in the bank (debt free). Out of the blue they want out. Take a bunch of money with them and say goodbye.
Needless to say that throws a rather giant monkey wrench into ever trusting a woman again and of couse leads to the erection issues.
So porn might be an issue with the youger guys but us older guys never got into that. Its the women themselves that cause the ED problems. Contrary to what you might believe the men need the emotional connection moreso than the women. Of course that’s my generation. Obviously your generation is quite different.
Hey Ken, I detect a theme in your comments!
It’s an excellent point however, that men in every generation currently alive have had vastly different experiences of sexuality and romantic relationships.
This is exceptional because there was a block of human history, perhaps 50 thousand years or more, where each generation had great wisdom to confer on the next, and the great-grandfather who had figured some shit out might have his words whispered into the ear of his distant grandsons.
The two most significant events in human sexual history both occurred in your lifetime:
The birth control pill, which led directly to the Sexual Revolution, and high-speed Internet porn, which led to… we don’t quite know yet…
In any case, the assertion that it’s the women that cause ED is an opinion that not a whole lot of professionals are going to line up behind. Certainly the women you’re talking about would probably tell a very different story of how events went down, and how much control they exert over their ex-husband’s biology, even after the end of the relationship.
I’m certainly sorry that you and your buddies had these negative experiences. I hope that they all find their way to happiness. My 2 cents for them, if they were listening, is that the path to happiness almost certainly lies in figuring out how to move past blaming their current issues on the ex, and figuring out how to take that power back for themselves.
It wasn’t until this year I started experiencing the effects of too much pornography. My last girlfriend got surgery that was supposed to minimize her periods but it also ruined our sex life, which was nor that great anyway. I resorted to porn, badly. Then when I was with another girl, IT happened and I was embarrassed.
My advice is to abstain from it for at least a month, and also masturbation. No more death grip. Get back to being turned on by a woman’s touch. And regulate it. Heavily. My new girl and I occasionally watch Playboy tv but we spend our entire focus on each other. As the movie promotes, intimacy trumps fantasy.
Thanks for sharing, Teddy.
As you demonstrate, I’m sure there are responsible users out there.
And as you also relate, the addictive behavior and binging can creep up on you. There really needs to be a warning label!
Cindy Gallop unfortunately Just. Doesn’t. Get. It. It’s not porn’s content that is screwing up men’s sexual performance; it’s constant visual, erotic novelty, always available on demand. It’s good to see you pointing out that her “solution” is just more fuel for a fire that’s already raging.
The good news is that quitting cyber erotica really *does* seem to turn things around within months. Hope your readers figure this out and save themselves and their mates enormous heartache.
It’s amazing that the brain can re-wire itself so well again. I’m guessing that the same triggers that make porn so darn addictive (the sexual urge is among the most deeply ingrained and powerful trigger we’ve got), are also what make that part of the brain so resilient and plastic in restoring itself to normal function.
Well Alex I sure do believe you have hit the nail on the head and greed has put our own male being in dire straights. Too bad it had to appear as this crap but, it did and if we have any common sense we should stick to what has worked with out the electric panacea so we may indeed be the men we should be.
first, this sentence ‘sex is when you “lose yourself in another person, and they lose themselves in you”’ also hit me with great impact. if we feel safe, we can do that. the rick is how tofeel safe. communication that is honest. start with that. next, i had someone who was my sexual partner, with agreement that there would be nothing else between us. we both liked doing certain so-called “dirty” things that would certainly turn off some others, so we were good partners for that reason. however, i missed the foreplay, and missed the cuddling and the feelings of caring. he was into frequent masturbation and also porn daily. the sex was just porn sex. it was very empty. sexy, but so empty. i wonder how he will be if he meets someone special one day with whom he would like to settle down. will he know how to pleases her and give caring sex?i wonder. his idea of foreplay was to dive at once into oral sex on me, or me going down on him – like the start of a porn film. i think it is very sad. there were days when he was soft or semi-soft and then i would manage to get him fully erect, but he would end the session eventually, stating he was really tired. of course,look what he is doing all day.porn is a killer of normal natural sex.
i forgot to comment on the men who put all the blame fully on their wives. how unfair is that!!?are they not trying to look at themselves? first, are they now obese, do not bathe enough, loose pot-bellies. extra hair all over their ears, noses etc? men do not see themselves. so blame the women!. also, there are often physiological reasons for women not having desire. sometimes all it takes is some c-testosterone cream.2% daily applied to upper inner arm,and this will accelerate the drive in 3days. then some estradiol cream vaginally twice weekly for maintenance of the vaginal walls and external genitalia. more comfort. especially post menopausal women with this walls.
so although we can talk about all the other aspects, do not forget the medical issue here.
First, thank you for the work you have done and the fantastic programs you have created!
The thing about porn is that it seems to be a symptom of a much broader cultural malady. That is, we can’t seem to relate to each other with out some sort of electronic mediation any more. We can’t seem to communicate with out text or connect with each other with out some sort of screen screening us.
I was out to dinner last night with my daughter, my brother and his family. At the next table was a bevy of beautiful, young women. Every single one of them had her Iphone in front of her face. Instead of talking, they were all texting or whatever.
The thing is, Alex, when you deal with (another) human being in intimate situations, you also have to deal with all of the attendant emotions: Maybe including guilt, shame, unrequited affection, anxiety. I know you’ve spoken/written at length about all of these things (again, my thanks), but combating all those unpleasant things requires communication.
Sorry, but you haven’t yet become ubiquitous. Not apparently in my city. Those young women from last night didn’t appear to have the communications thing mastered – not in face to face encounters. Or maybe they were just being lazy. While one of them did flirt briefly with my brother’s infant son, but googling at a baby doesn’t really take higher level brain functioning. I didn’t talk to them (I’m not a young man) but I wanted to give them your website. Would that have been inappropriate?
Your humble student,
K.
Hey Klick, I completely agree, and much has been written about how electronic communication is harming human-to-human interactions.
Here’s a great piece that really hits home on the subject: http://www.trueactivist.com/after-i-saw-this-i-put-down-my-phone-and-didnt-pick-it-up-for-the-rest-of-the-day/
To answer your question, yes, it would have been inappropriate to give them my website. It’s also a mistake to assume that their behavior in the restaurant is indicative of their entire palette of human relating skills. You truly can never tell what a person’s erotic identity might be like judging from their out-to-dinner-with-friends personality. We are different in intimacy than socially (than under stress, than under threat, than celebrating, etc.).
Though, not being a young man is no reason for not talking to them. Many of the most passionate couples I know are drastically mismatched in age. Perhaps your easy wisdom around electronic distractions is exactly what one of those young women needed to blossom into the person she secretly knows she can become. Perhaps some quality in her (maybe even her ease around your age), is exactly what you need to fully actualize the man you can yet become. There are many reasons that two people might be mismatched romantically… in my experience in dealing with many, many couples, age does not seem to be a factor.
I find this article interesting but wonder why it is aimed primarily at men. The instances of women watching porn or reading erotic literature I believe has increased (if myself and my friends are anything to go by) and then are confused by why they desire their real life partners less. Some believe they just aren’t into them anymore and so leave to start with someone new. Initially this may solve the problem only for it to return as the honeymoon period dies down. The underlying issue hasn’t been addressed or even possibly acknowledged as being an issue for women too.
Is the thought that women aren’t as affected by porn addiction as men are?
THANK YOU, Tanya! This is indeed an important comment.
While we are all quite worried about what kinds of effects early and/or frequent viewing of hardcore pornography might have on women, there is little evidence of what those effects might be.
Yes, for sure young women are “learning” what sex is “supposed to” look like, imitating it, and then feeling unsatisfied by it.
Yes, for sure young women are “learning” what is “normal” and then performing all kinds of sexual acts with their boyfriends that they saw in pornography that are a real health risk (e.g., performing oral or vaginal sex after anal sex).
Yes, for sure young women are facing the consequences of boyfriends trained by porn who either can’t perform at all, or who pop a bunch of viagra and then whack away on them without any idea about how to actually give them a good sexual experience (which could also be the cause of why your friends desire their real partners less).
The problem with the research is this:
There really isn’t a scientifically easy way to link viewing porn with a woman’s lack of desire for her real life partner. Maybe it’s just that he’s bad in bed. Maybe he lacks the ability to form intimacy with her. Maybe his disconnection creates a sameness in his sexual activity that is plain boring.
…or maybe it’s her porn habit.
With men there is better data. It’s not just disinterest in their partner. It’s the physical symptom of erectile dysfunction.
When I was in my 20s there just weren’t ANY men who couldn’t get an erection while sitting alone in a room fantasizing. ED was limited to anxiety and severe medical conditions.
Now it’s everywhere. Men in their 20s are using viagra with their girlfriends MORE than men in their 50s.
We could blame environmental toxins, pseudo-estrogens in plastics, obesity, etc… BUT, thanks to the work of men like Gary Wilson, there are now large groups of men who are “ex-porn-addicts” who clearly point to the stark before-and-after: Men who used to be unable to get an erection with women who now have great sex lives without the use fo pills.
It would be fantastic to see a similar study of women who voluntarily give up pornography.
I am 64 so my porn was the Sears catalog and later Playboy. Late in college Penthouse hit the scene.
When I was 15 I had woman in her mid 30s offer me sex. Having sex with her would have put her in a place to get allot of drama based social attention. I choose to decline her offer but more importantly the event caused me to consider what I wanted from sex with another person. The event created an awareness of self pleasure vs shared pleasure and the two became forever separate in my awareness.
While self pleasure is enjoyable it is empty compared to the richness of shared pleasure. When I am with another person I please myself, I please them, they enjoy themselves, and they please me. So many delightful possibilities. I enjoy foreplay, intercourse, orgasm, and post play. In case you wonder I am happily hetero.
Add into all of that the obvious artificiality of porn and I have found that after a year of occasional viewing I am simply bored with most porn. A well done sex scene in a movie still gets me going but porn with it’s ease of access and artificiality just doesn’t do it for me. I guess I still hold the belief, reinforced by experience, that if something is really worthwhile and rewarding it will include effort and other people.
Yes, I have been told I am weird by many people. They often look confused when I thank them for noticing.
An informative article that I enjoyed.
Yeah, and there’s the fact that many people let themselves go after getting into committed relationships. The dude’s ED might be from HIM letting his health go downhill so far he’s toasted all the time; or from HER changing to something that doesn’t even remotely turn him on, anywhere from some funky weird hairstyle, to putting on like 50 pounds and not being anywhere close to the women he used to dig.
Porn fucked me up so bad.
I used to watch between 2-4 hours of porn per day for 2-3 years because I wasn’t getting laid. It caused me to have erectile problems with a girl and at the time I thought it was because I had sexual issues or whatever. But later, I realized it was excessive porn use causing the problem.
I would feel so drained, mentally and emotionally after watching porn, but it was addictive so I kept going back. Eventually, it hit me that if I didn’t quit altogether, I would have little chance of every recovering and creating great relationships.
It took months of discipline to finally kick the habit. First it was going one day without porn. Then two. One time I went two weeks without it and I felt so good and full of energy. But then I relapsed. Slowly but surely, I learned mental tricks to stop myself from giving in and redirecting my energy towards something positive.
The thing I soon realized was, the LESS I watched porn, the better I felt. No only mentally, but emotionally as well. That’s when I finally stopped for good and I haven’t jerked off to porn in months. It’s such a waste of time, and seriously ruins your potential as a man. Not just in terms of romantic relationships, but socially, business wise, and self-esteem wise.
Watching porn is basically affirming that you watching other people have sex is better than actually having sex, which is retarded if you think about it. Another thing that helped me was reading on the true lives of porn stars. None of them are “stars.” Most of them are miserable and want out of the business. There is no fulfillment in it, and if you watch porn objectively, without masturbating, you will see how shallow and empty it really is. The girls screams are FAKE And they never have real orgasms.
Anyways, those are just some thoughts. I had no idea porn could do so much damage to your brain. Read YourBrainOnPorn.com for more info. I feel amazing now that I use my sexual energy in more positive and constructive ways. Watching porn is a downgrade from how good I feel now. I have more mental energy to get work done and I feel MUCH more confident in social situations and in general. My attitude towards life is also more positive. I feel balanced and at peace with myself.
Overall, I think porn is destructive and men should not watch it, but then again, it’s their choice. If they do, that’s less competition for me! Have fun guys, go jerk off to pixels on your screen. I’ll fuck your girlfriend for you and give her the pleasure she deserves.
Peace.
Well said, sir. You are ahead of the curve. I, as a woman, have watched alot of porn. And I always always always prefered amatuer porn. Just set up a tripod type. Watching real people make love is great. Not amatuers trying to be porn stars, but true amatuers. He actually tries to please her–he actually goes down on her. Nobody is spraying cum on anyone’s face. She isn’t fake wailing like a banshee. There is an actual connection. That’s what I like, but, it’s true, all in moderation. And it’s no substitution for the real thing. Fo Sho!
27 Year Old Male – thank you for sharing this! I’m a 34 year old male and I’ve noticed the EXACT same problems you speak of here. My last 2 girlfriends started after I started watching porn again – both the girl next door part one and part two in real time which was hella fun but ended shitty both relationship.
After I split with the last one I reverted back to porn and my career and life took a bad backslide I’m recovering from now 2 years later. Most recently a young woman I really have the hots for gave me her number, but I reverted back to porn again and wasn’t able to get the date I wanted because I was off my zone when I reached out to call and got the “can I get back to you” from her and no yes on the date when before when I was off porn and on my game and living confidently she was leaning into me and the connecting was there.
Hearing your experience I can relate with has made a difference and I second “Have fun guys, go jerk off to pixels on your screen. I’ll fuck your girlfriend for you and give her the pleasure she deserves.”
BOOM – I’m onnit even if it sucks for a while before I get myself and my confidence all dialed back in again!
Thanks again!
Great article Alex. I agree with you completely. Unfortunately the problem is not only prevalent in men but in women themselves as you so eloquently pointed out in one of your responses above.
The biggest issue I see leading to all of this goes back to the same premise that we all have to learn to accept each other “as is” and not judge each other because of any particular kinks and proclivities. There is no such thing as a perfect human being. There is just human beings.
It is far safer and more comfortable to “lose yourself” in a fantasy and masturbate in front of a screen where it’s just you and your fantasy megapixel partners than to actually open up and share your fantasies, your kinks, your desires, with someone for fear of being judged a pervert, a degenerate, or a whore or worst.
Unless both men and women start turning off the computer, Ipads, Ipods, and the damn cell phones and actually start communicating with each other and start creating non-judgment zones then I only see the problem getting worst.
The sad part about the whole thing is that the younger generation will never even have a clue just how good it feels to be with someone that you can trust implicitly and not worry about being judged; how good it feels to just be able to have great “real” sex where you take your time to pleasure your partner, use all of your senses and bring in the emotional and mental aspects of love making.
I for one if I don’t have that trust in place, if I am in the least bit worried that I am going to be judged or given hell for something I may want to try, etc. and I don’t feel safe and I have to be on guard, I won’t orgasm. I won’t enjoy the experience, I’ll go through the motions and fake it. Then the next time my partner wants to have sex I will honestly be dreading it and it will seem more of a chore. At least that is the way it is for me.
Anyway, Alex keep these great articles coming.
I grew up with porn being the dirty magazines my parents and older brothers kept hidden under the bed or those late night movies on Cinemax, but once it became possible to get high speed Internet access and use 1st generation peer to peer services like Kazaa and Limewire, I was awakened to more porn than I could imagine. I downloaded a lot of it, much of it rather kinky stuff like orgies, gangbang videos, and BDSM. At first it was so overwhelming I had nearly constant erections when I wadn’t actively jacking off to those videos, but after a while it began to lose its thrill, and I kept thinking to myself, I should quit watching this and maybe meet a real live woman to date and have sex with. I still enjoy the occasional adult video every once in a while, but I find myself watching more softcore porn when I do watch it, and yet I watch a lot less porn then I used to.
What worries me is how porn is affecting the millennials, especially since they have had more easy access to porn, particularly the hard core stuff, then any generation before tnem. I’ve heard stories of college males having difficulty maintaining erections with a woman because they masturbated to too much porn in high school. Plus most of the porn is giving them a warped view of sexually that can’t be sustained in a functional relationship.
Hi Alex, I don’t watch porn, the idea of watching people I don’t know being intimate with each other or should I say ‘pretend’ to be intimate with each other, turns my stomach. When I’m with a woman, she has my complete attention. She IS my real life fantasy. I am completely immersed in the interaction and though there is a high level of visual content being created by both of us, it’s the internal connection of Mind, Emotion, and Soul that gives the greatest high and satisfaction. Women are quite surprised when I tell them, I am not into porn. There is something so sexy about a woman being the focus of your attention, and there is nothing sexier than the woman in your arms knowing that. Going down the lonely trail of being fixated by random female bodies and treating them as objects is a dangerous psychological rabbit hole.
Well Paul, sounds like you don’t need to worry about this issue then 😉
This is a great article. I struggle with porn myself, and after realizing the negative effects, I am really anxious to quit, however I can never seem to stay off of it. I discovered this site after the webinar happened, and was wondering if there was any way to watch a recording of the webinar.
Hoping to have it available again soon!