Straight Talk About Getting Hard

Selling cures for E.D. (erectile dysfunction) is a multi-BILLION dollar industry. And I’m guessing that as the baby boomers continue to climb through their 60s, this is not going to be a bad place to bet your money for a while.

If you have trouble getting it up, or keeping it up, then the good news is that you have a lot of options… and the bad news is that you are part of a giant market with golden dollar signs tattooed on your forehead with bullseye over it.

There are so many false claims out there, and they are done so professionally (because it’s worth so much money), that it’s quite hard to tell what’s real anymore… even for me!

I get boatloads of requests to review products for E.D. every year, and I pass along very, very few… and even those that I recommend are never the holy grail they make themselves out to be.

So let’s talk straight about this:

There are 4 reasons that you might not be able to get hard

Psychological
Neurological
Medical
Physiological

Knowing what your issue is pretty crucial to getting the outcomes you want. So let’s start with…

Psychological.

You feel anxious to perform, you don’t want to disappoint her, or maybe you think sex is bad, wrong, and yucky, and she’ll be sickened by the display of your animal desire for her (even though, logically you know that’s not the case, but you got fucked up in childhood, and you can’t help but believe that secretly she’s grossed out and trying not to show it).

There are a lot of variations to the scenario above, but you get the idea.

Everyone knows that when you’re 16-25 and inexperienced, this is super normal…

But most men don’t know that it’s super normal AGAIN when they get older, and start to feel like maybe they aren’t the man they used to be, or maybe she’s noticed that it’s taking much longer than it should for you to get hard, and she’ll think you’re not the virile stud you made yourself out to be, or you’re afraid she’ll be repulsed by your belly, your dick size, or whatever…

It’s exactly the same situation as the younger guy, and it’s 100% in your mind.

Which means it is (frustratingly) 100% under your control to fix it. I say frustratingly because you kind of KNOW that… and then it still happens… and you feel like a complete loser.

Been there.

Anyway, it can be a deep issue, but the easiest way to fix it is to use your mouth.

By which I mean: Talk to the girl, stop pretending to be the Alpha James Bond Conqueror, and just tell her that you’re feeling a bit nervous because [fill in the truth here] and that it might take a bit longer. The secret key is to tell her this in same tone you would to say, “I heard it might rain tomorrow.”

If you can pull that off, you’ll have told her, AND TOLD YOURSELF, that it’s not that big a deal.

Then just relax and take your time. You got another date later? No? Just chill and enjoy her, and whenever it comes up it’ll come up.

Solved.

For most guys, anyway.

If you want more (of mostly the same kind of advice) ideas that really work, my book, Revolutionary Sex is really super incredibly helpful for most men.

Also, you might try a little weed (only if it’s legal where you live, of course!). It makes it worse for some guys, but for some men it works great.

Neurological.

By which I mean, you’ve reprogrammed the dopamine/reward systems in your brain by watching too much porn.

After several million views of porn clips you’ve TRAINED your neurology to get turned on by sitting in a chair and watching a video screen of other people doing things.

Your body has forgotten how to get turned on by laying down (or standing) with a live human and touching her.

Crazy but true, and a condition that is growing by leaps and bounds every year.

The shortest version of my advice: Quit porn. Like yesterday. It might take a long time to return to normal.

Many men who have been through this will say you have to cut out masturbation as well, but I’m not sure that’s the case.

What you MUST cut out is allowing yourself to fantasize ABOUT PORN to get hard. This is going to just keep rewiring you badly. If you see a beautiful woman on the street, and you imagine her on screen doing… whatever… you’re in trouble. If you see her and imagine actually touching her and doing things to her yourself, and that turns you on, then you’re probably good to go (in bed or masturbation)

Yes, I actually have a program for this too… and I created it several years ago… but ridiculously, I never had a sales page written for it for the website, and it’s not in my catalog, and basically there is no way to buy it. As my daughter says every time I do something stupid (which is frequently): “Daddy is a genius!”

Also, you might try a little weed (only if it’s legal where you live, of course!). It makes it worse for some guys, but for some men it works great.

Medical.

There are a bunch of drugs that will keep you from getting hard, including many antidepressants, ADD drugs, heart/cholesterol drugs, and many more.

Doctors give them out like candy.

What can you do about it?

Potentially nothing, and you need to have a “hard” conversation with your doctor about it. If it’s a life-necessary heart medication then you’re probably going to want to live with it, than die without it.

But if it’s an antidepressant, it’s worth noting that after the first few months (or even weeks), the efficacy of SSRIs and similar drugs vs placebo drops to about zero (though these things are very hard to quantify scientifically).

There does seem to be some agreement that daily exercise outperforms pretty much any antidepressant on the market– and not to get TOO far outside of the box, but 1 to 3 therapist-supervised sessions with psilocybin outperforms ANYTHING that has been scientifically documented for depression… And yet it is still illegal in most of the world! But that is changing very rapidly and it may be quite easily available soon.

Until then…

Try viagra or cialis or any of the other pills that your doc can prescribe for ED! They work like crazy for most men. There’s zero shame in it big fella. It’s no different than any other pill for any other condition.

If that doesn’t work there are penis pumps combined with cock rings, medical implants, and a bunch of other stuff that I hope you won’t need… but if you do, again, zero shame. You wouldn’t look down with disrespect on a man in a wheelchair, and there’s no reason to feel shame around this.

And, of course, it’s possible that nothing will work. If that’s the case, it robs you of an essential pleasure of life– which is pretty horrible– but let’s be crystal clear:

It does not rob you of having a meaningful life, and it does not make you less of a man. Anyone who tells you otherwise (and there will be MANY) is trying to sell you something online.

Physiological.

If you are obese, it’s probably that your estrogen levels are too high for very good erections.

Likewise, if your cardiovascular system is clogged up, you might not have enough pressure in the hose.

And if your testosterone levels are too low… well that could make you lose your libido and not even be interested in this conversation but…

WARNING: Remember what I mentioned about being targeted by marketing above?

Well, the marketers have figured out that there is gold in them thar “T-level” hills.

Unless your testosterone is super low, it’s probably not the issue.

There have been studies that showed that adding actual injections of testosterone did little to improve the erections of normal men. So… that.

However, if you have any doubts and think your free testosterone levels are too low, ask your doc to refer you to an endocrinologist who will test you and see if you’re in the normal zone. If you’re not, he can help, or you can try diet and exercise, or herbs, or whatever you like… but if you’re normal, it’s time to bark up a different tree.

One thing about all of the issues above: Diet and Exercise will go a long way to fixing your issues… and WAY MORE than just your issues with sexual performance and getting your dick hard.

Sugar, junk food, chemical additives, saturated fats: All addictive.

It’s hard to break the habit, but break it you must, brother.

Good news:

Exercise… also addictive. But you gotta get on a regular schedule. Show up. Just do it. And all of that other rah-rah… because it’s the best gift you can give yourself in so many ways.

And also, as mentioned above, viagra, cialis, etc. work like crazy for most men…

Pills:

As a general rule, anything your doc prescribes to give you a boner is going to work, and work like crazy.

There is no shame in it, but if you’re a young guy with a little anxiety, or a porn addicted guy, these will become addictive fast, as you will be only further screwing up your psychology around the idea that you can’t get hard on your own.

So use sparingly, maybe just to get your confidence up a bit… But if you’re still using it two weeks later… maybe rethink your plan.

The non-prescription pills?

Some have some minor effects, some are dangerous, some are not, and it’s not super easy to sort out the truth here because herbal supplements are unregulated.

And worse, to paraphrase a good friend of mine, the pills that advertise the most lies per second are the ones that sell the best.

So you really need to ask yourself if the minor effect (or zero effect in many cases) are worth the risk. Especially when your doc has the stuff that works like crazy and has been tested for side effects (there ARE side effects, but you’ll know what they are, and you can make intelligent choices based on real information).

My honest and best advice, and it’s not in any way perfect, is

1) Exercise. Every day. Seriously. Just freakin’ do it. You’ll thank me.

2) Get your diet under control.

Less meat and less red meat in particular– but not none…
Zero processed foods. Yes I said ZERO!
Zero fast food restaurants. Really man, ZERO.
Less sugar… like WAY less. Zero would be good.
Zero sugar substitutes.
Maybe less alcohol if you’re over doing it, same goes for weed.
LOTS of green leafy vegetables– like probably 20X what you eat now
Berries, dark chocolate, maca, coffee, and all of the other good antioxidant super-food stuff is probably a good idea too.

All of the other advice that is out there is… maybe.

You’ll see very serious-looking university studies that you must be paleo and cut out grain, or you must be vegan and cut out meat… and they all have university studies to refute each other’s studies.

Just know this: There aren’t any 100 year old paleo guys. Yet. I mean maybe it’s the greatest thing ever. But… maybe it’s not. I’m pals with Mark Sisson (one of the big daddies of the paleo diet) and that guy IS in ridiculous condition (but so is his wife who is a Vegan!).

Vegans generally live much longer than meat eaters, and “mostly vegans,” folks who eat meat, but only occasionally, live longest of all. But you do you.

Follow my diet bullets above and you’ll have 90% of it on lockdown.

3) Don’t buy shit off the internet that sounds too good to be true. It is.

4) Talk to your doc.

5) Try the prescription pills if you haven’t, and if your doc says it’s okay. They generally work like crazy.

6) Buy everything I have ever produced. It sounds self-serving. It is self-serving. And it’s very good advice.