Would you know if the woman you were with was faking it?
Maybe… but probably not. Because most women (yes, MOST… more than 70% according to recent surveys) have faked it with their lover, and many fake it EVERY TIME.
In fact… one of the most common email questions I get is from WOMEN who say they’ve been faking it with their boyfriend for YEARS… and now they want to come clean and tell the truth so that they can use my techniques to work on improving their sex life together… but they don’t know how to talk to him about it without shattering his ego.
Ouch.
Another fact: Most women don’t have orgasms during intercourse, and many women (at least 1 in 7) have never had an orgasm at all.
And that’s a shame because I believe beyond any doubt that EVERY woman is capable of having orgasms, AND capable of having them during intercourse (which builds a very special kind of bonding intimacy that simply can’t be replaced in your relationship).
In other words, I feel completely certain that every woman out there who says that she’s never had an orgasm is not only physically capable of it, but that with just a few simple techniques, the right partner could send her skyrocketing into the land of the Big O.
So WHY are women faking it?
Mainly because of YOUR fragile male ego.
It’s hard enough to deal with the stigma of being a woman who has trouble climaxing without also having to deal with an insecure boyfriend (or husband) who is constantly fretting and freaking out that he’s doing something wrong.
But also they fake it just because they are ashamed. Many women think that if they are not having orgasms that there is something “wrong” with them. They get blasted with all of these Hollywood images, screaming actresses in pornography, and “Big O” obsessed women’s magazine covers… and they fear rejection if you knew that you weren’t getting her bells to chime.
Is your woman faking it?
One simple way to know is by pausing your thrusting in the middle of her climax to see if you can feel the involuntary contractions of the walls of her vagina.
A second way is to watch for a hot blush in her face and chest (this requires that the lights are ON, of course).
Both of these are possible to fake, but another way to know that is impossible to fake is that right after a woman has her first orgasm during lovemaking, there is s subtle change in the scent of her lubrication. I would describe it as slightly acidic or metallic.
Of course, if you are not very sensitive to tastes and smells, you could miss it and still not be sure.
In fact, the only absolutely fool-proof way to know if she is faking it is to take the time to build the trust and safety so that you are sure she could tell you anything without it turning into a big deal… and even BETTER…
Master the fundamental techniques for giving ANY woman an orgasm so that you’ll never have to wonder.
Darn you! Lol! Youre right though…i too am ashamed and readt to come clean!!!
i think it is better to tell the man if he is not doing the job right, so you both can work on the problem that is better than keeping quiet and faking it
So many of the various posters on this site seem to live in such a different world than I do. I have not run into any men who had any real interest in pleasure outside of their own. The times I endured my shame and did not fake it with a man and asked for some assistance, I was told I was too much trouble, took too long or received some half-hearted gestures. So now I do not fake it (with hostility rather than shame) and I also do not ask for assistance. I get pissed off with the neglect and frustration and just dump the man with a sweet, demure but deliberately hurtful comment on his size or longevity. It is not like I can do anything about having an orgasm with a man. I am dependent on what a man wants for me. That makes me angry.
Marie, your comment really saddens me. More than 100 thousand men read the Allman Report hoping to learn how to be better lovers for their woman. And tens of millions of men search google every month for things like, “how to be good in bed,” and “how to be a better husband.”
It troubles me that you are “deliberately hurtful” towards men that don’t satisfy you sexually. I’m guessing that often, what you think is indifference or “half-hearted gestures” is simply a man who lacks confidence and feels insecure and helpless when you express your dissatisfaction. I am always upset when I hear from a man that he is angry with all women because of some careless woman who intentionally hurt him when he failed to satisfy her. Your actions have consequences.
If you look around this blog, you’ll see plenty of women who have posted wonderful things about men, so your experience is not every woman’s experience…
And you’ll also see plenty of men who have similarly low opinions of every woman they have ever been intimate with. And I’ll tell you exactly what I tell them:
The one thing that all of these men you complain about have in common is YOU.
What is unclear is whether you have some shadow issue that makes you select this type of man over and over again, or, equally likely, there is something that you are doing, or some way of being, that is bringing out this side in your men.
I believe your entire life could change in heart-achingly beautiful ways if only you could change that last sentence of yours from, “That makes me angry,” to “That makes me curious.”