In this video we demonstrate 2 of the “love languages” described in Gary Chapman’s book, “The 5 Love Languages.” I’ve said in the past that I think that 5 is a low-ball and that there are many others out there… but these 5 are a great starting point for understanding your lover.
Note that we ALL like ALL of them… but there is one that means more to us.
In this video she equates love to “acts of service”. When she cooks him “chicken parm,” she’s saying “I love you,” and when he fails to pick up her dry cleaning, she hears, “I don’t care about your love.”
Meanwhile, his love language is TOUCH. From the moment he detects she’s upset he’s trying to touch her, to say, “I love you, I love you, I love you…” to calm her down. But she CAN’T HEAR IT THAT WAY. And when she pulls away from his touch, he feels like she is refusing his love. Ouch.
Many, if not most, couples miscommunicate exactly this way, and many never even realize they are doing it. They both TRY to love each other, and neither can understand why it’s not working.
The big take away:
Communicate about this stuff. Learn how your partner likes to be loved (Hint: It’s usually the way in which they are trying to give it to you). Be a detective of your partner’s love. Figure out where they are saying, “I love you,” and you aren’t hearing them.
The crazy thing is… they may not know themselves how they naturally give and receive love…
If you want to be sure you’re getting this right, or you have any doubts at all, get Gary Chapman’s book! It’s a small investment with a giant return.
Here’s a link to it on Amazon (under 10 bucks!!):
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
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