Sexual dominance is a huge turn on… and not just for women.
Everyone loves a partner who knows how to be sexually dominant in a way that is fun, sexy, and natural. For many women, a sexually dominant partner who knows how to guide her erotically is the first/only/best way to reach orgasm.
For many men, a sexually dominant partner is one of those fantasies that they’ve given up on because women just don’t understand it or they don’t have the confidence to do it.
There is, of course, another side to dominance…
Submission.
And both dominance and submission are important parts of the sexual/emotional vocabulary of great sex.
Nobody just wants to be bossed around. Nobody wants to just submit to whatever YOU want to do. Nobody wants a sexual bully.
And, likewise, nobody wants a partner who lays there submissively and allows you to use them like a sex doll.
Dominance and submission are about the erotic dance of primal sexual desire to take and be taken.
Here’s Khal Drogo, my Halloween alter-ego, with 7 tips on how to do sexual domination right!
Or you can watch on youtube right here: How To Do Sexual Dominance Right!”
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Awesome video! lol
Many men are shy to be dominant in the bedroom because of different cultural restrains. But I feel that bedroom is a place where nature takes over culture. I wish more men could see this video
Thank you, Alex
This is great! You’re enjoyable to watch and gave great tips. All of those work on me 🙂 I burst out laughing with your mustache routine.
LOL! Love the costume—that said—it’s about time someone addressed this!
There are thousands of books sold every day with alpha men at the center, these are the men we women dream of (I’m not talking 50 Shades). From power brokers to cowboys—SEALS to men of honor who are all alphas or as you describe it sexually dominant men. If our men could be these fantasy men well—hot damn! It’s nice to feel like a woman…and then to be able take control of THAT man? The rush adds another level to the fantasy.
(Hint: if you use a little eyelash glue it’ll help keep the goatee in place :D)
Alex, do you have a video on how to be sexually submissive?
Not yet…
😉
Please make one. 🙂 Encountered a dominating man but not sure how submission works! How can one not feel like a slave?
Here you go Donna: http://www.revolutionarysex.com/the-power-of-being-sexually-submissive
Thank you, Alex. This is actually someone for whom dominating is the preferred way, so it might be a bit more intense (and scary).
Often “intense and scary” is where the fun is… and the personal growth.
Alex, what do you think my chances are of hooking up with a good woman?
my sex drive is still strong but I am hopelessly impotent because of diabetes.
I would prefer in giving my lady oral but would not be much interested in
reciprocating……It would have to be at least a somewhat committed relationship
since I cant be too choosey on account of my ED…….have you ever dealt with
a situation like mine before?……is there any women posters on here that would
care to comment?
mick
Hey Mick, here is the straight talk:
There is something about intercourse that is different from just giving a woman an orgasm, and it’s very likely that this will be a real and present challenge in your future relationships.
With that said, EVERY meaningful relationship has real and present challenges. And if a woman falls in love with you, she’s going to find a way, together with you, to deal with it powerfully and meaningfully.
In terms of straight sexual satisfaction, hell yes, you can perform oral, use vibrators, heck, you could even strap on a dildo and get pretty close to the real deal.
In terms of emotional issues – you should assume that there will be challenges and that you can ride through them together, and that overcoming these challenges will grow you as a couple and as individuals in beautiful ways you can’t even understand right now.
I have couples who deal with impotence, herpes, paralysis, parkinson’s, and more. One of my best friends, Sean Stephenson (http://www.timetostand.com), has a laundry list of physical disabilities that make love making in most “ordinary” positions impossible, but he and his wife have a loving and sexually passionate relationship that most men could only envy.
My best advice to you: Commit to being the man that is so grounded, masculine, compassionate, secure, and loving, that even with your impotence, any woman would be a fool to not get that you are still the best man she could have as her lover. When you know that it’s true in your heart, it will be no issue for the right woman to see it the same way.
A comment for “Mick”:
Yes, if you are the type of grounded, masculine, compassionate, secure and loving man to whom Alex is referring, there are plenty of women (myself included) who would absolutely consider you as a life partner. While having intercourse is great — I think most people can agree it’s a wonderful opportunity for a couple to bond — it is not the only road to deep connection and intimacy that a couple can take.
A slight twist on the tip to “use the wall” – many women fantasize about The Hollywood Kiss (it was even used in Sex in the City). This is where a guy takes the girl in his arms and ‘dips’ her across the front of his body, the way he would do if they were dancing, and kisses her passionately while she’s off balance, and dependent on his supporting arms to not get dropped on her backside. I’m a performer, and once had a man three inches shorter than me do this onstage; let me tell you, my body was in no doubt which of the two of us was the stronger, and, at least for that moment, the one in charge.
Love it!
Thank you Khal Drogo for this video!!
Would you like to give me a little advice?
I recently moved together with my boyfriend, we’ve had a distance relationship for 3,5 years but been a couple for 5 years.
Now we’ve been in our new apartment for some time, and it’s clear to me that he’s not very interested in being sexually dominant… To me, he appears lame and boring erotically. I know this from before but it’s troubling me more now that we are in the same space. He is 50, and I’m 20 years younger, so I think that can have something to do with it -that I’m more energetic and passionate about sex- but he’s told me that he’s never been very interested in sex nor feeling truly comfortable about it.
What happens now is that in the morning, once a week or so he says (in different wordings), “maybe we should be intimate with each other now?”. To me, that’s so unsexy! I would like my man to initiate sex in a physical, dominant way like he’s really attracted to me! During the day or evening he never comes and just kiss me, that wild kiss I’m dreaming about, not even in the beginning of our relationship. If we kiss or are physically close to each other during the day, I’m the one initiating it, at least 95% of the time.
I feel frustrated and sad, but at the same time I really love this man and I’m attracted to him, he has a lot of wonderful qualities.
Do you think there’s a way to inspire him to be more forward and leading? I tried talking to him but I think I said the wrong things because he became depressed about it, I guess he felt demasculated by the way I expressed my wishes.
Do you think talking with him is the right thing to do, or can I somehow with my way of being show him what I want? Maybe I should just give up the dream that he will one day uncover his inner sexual leader.
As a man in his 50s I can tell you that sex drive does go way down, and you find yourself having far fewer “throw her down and take her!” thoughts come up all on their own. It’s something you eventually have to become proactive about.
A man who wants to be great in bed for his lover (which very much includes making her feel like the unique object of your unquenchable desires) can learn how to be great in bed– and enjoy every minute of it. Indeed, if you’re not enjoying it, you’re doing it wrong!
But, yes, you are wasting your time dreaming that some day he’s going to find his inner sexual leader. It will absolutely and only get worse.
Your path forward is to live without great sex, find another lover, or…
Get up the love-funded courage to talk to him again and again, to keep trying until you get the communication right, to have the resolve, the compassion, the integrity, and the devotion to force him to see that you heart is aching for him, and only him. Make him feel your hurt in not being enough of a priority for him to learn. Make him feel your desire to know him deeply (including his sexual insecurities around rejection and humiliation if he tried and failed at this), and your desire for him to know every little truth that you’ve ever been ashamed of since you hit puberty. Show him the beautiful vision of what is possible if you can talk about it, and learn to trust each other.
And, if it ever becomes appropriate, show him my website 😉
I write this with years in my eyes…thank you ❤️
Last Christmas I actually gave him your book, he hasn’t read it yet though. But I feel much better now after your answer, I know there’s hope.
I meant tears in my eyes, not years *giggle*
I love this video and your content in general, Alex. Really good information and well explained!